Well tommorrow is my first day back to work since having Sammi. I am really not looking forward to it. I have so enjoyed the past three months of Chloe, Sammi, and me spending time together. I can’t believe that Samantha is already going on three months old! I want to cry to think that this special time of just us is over. I am NOT looking forward to having to leave my girls with anyone for 8 hours at a time, even if it is going to be daddy, grandma, or grandpa. I really wish my mom had the energy and willingness to watch the girls cause that would set my mind very much at ease. I wish we could afford for me to stay at home and take care of my girls…maybe sometime soon. At least I got today off (mother’s day) though it is very bitter sweet to spend my last day before I go back to work, which is supposed to be all about being a mother, being sad about having to go back to work and leaving my baby at home. I think it is a lot harder to me this time around because I am successfully breastfeeding her. I think that I have been able to bond with Sammi a lot faster than I got to with Chloe. I think that bonding has also been easier because Sammi has not been colicy like Chloe was and we can actually play with her at this age. I really just want to cry. Also we have gotten Chloe to be not eatting as many junky foods that her grandpa is so fond of feeding her. I am going to revert to lists of what to feed her and when, when grandma and grandpa have to babysit. It is the only way that I can get them to feed her what I want her to eat…aka not cookies.
The sad return to work :( May 11, 2009